Monday, February 9, 2015, ϟ 0 shout(s)
Currently am chasing 'Superman' this Korea show.
Those babies n children in the show is really very cute and funny.
And somehow I could learn things from the show too.
I really like their parents' education style, so sweet and warm which really make a home.
They encouraged their children a lot and don't give too much negative thoughts to their children.
I think I should teach my children like that too. Haha.
Been working for 3 days and it feel quite fun to work together with a bunch of crazy people.
Though it's really quite tiring but I love my job.
Last night I even had my leg cramp halfway in my sleep. /.\
I think I might have a little problem in communication but I'll learn it. Haha.
Just appreciate everything u have right now because u will never know when it will leave.
And be thankful.
See things wide, see things positively, don't let the negative source pull you down.
Be strong and stand strong.
It is prolly the time for you to stand on ur own because you rely on people too much n that will brings you lot of problems.
''I want to a family not just a baby.
I want a home not just a house.
I want a future not just promises.
I want a marriage not just wedding.''
Learn from your mistakes.
I have words for u.
"Yi ge ba zhang pai bu xiang."
Things would never work out if keep having an attitude like 'its ur own business, not mine.'
Relationship is where two people fight together.
U had times where u suspect on me n feel insecure too but I still afford to tell u n explain.
I'm a human too,
What u felt, I had times where I felt the same way u felt too.
The things which u keep repeat, it happens on me too. But at different times.
That's all what I want to say.
Sunday, December 7, 2014, ϟ 0 shout(s)
December is here. And that's mean Christmas is getting nearer ! ^^
I dunno why but I just love Christmas so much !
Guess I mentioned bout it every year ?
Well, I guess everything is going well now so far ?
But I dunno why there just always feel like there stg missing n stg's wrong.
Is it me who think too much or...what ?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm....
I guess it's because I didn't make out anytime for my sisters n friends who helps me a lot n that's make me feel bad ?
N that's the reason why I feel like stg missing or stg wrong always ?
It doesn't mean tat I'm not happy with what's going now, I'm happy but just that I feel like I'm leaving further n further from the world who I used to live ?
Well, I really don't know how to tell u.
I'm in ur world now but how bout mine ?
I knew u're busy but.. I should really tell u this since this is quite a serious matter for me ?
I'm happy to stick with u around but I also could wish that we could hangout with my friends n buddies sometimes ? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Sunday, November 2, 2014, ϟ 0 shout(s)
I don't really feel like speaking to you.
Like you always do.
To be the closest people of mine and be the one who judge me the most ?
Seriously do you like to hurt me that way ?
You don't even apologize for it, yet you don't even feel sorry bout it.
What a surprise dude.
Really surprised me a lot.
Yet you can act like nothing and talk to me again. LOL ?
I'm really disappoint at you like there's no word can describe.
You thought you know me but actually you don't know me at all.
You don't even understand what kind of person I am yet.
You don't even understand me yet.
You are like nothing at all after all what you did to me.
PFFFFFT DUDE.
U made me laugh out all loud.
U make me wanna scream out loud.
U make me wanna get insane.
WTF DUDE.
I just wish I wouldn't have any feelings.
I just feel like it's the right thing for me to talk more less from now onward.
It will be better.
Things will always be better if I keep silence.
Sleepless Night
Monday, September 29, 2014, ϟ 0 shout(s)
It's just another sleepless night for me.
The time now is 1:51AM.
And I just can't fall asleep tightly.
It's been like this for two weeks already.
Yet I still never get one good night sleep.
I feel like I'm a zombie more than anything now.
It don't really feel good though.
I miss him so much.
I hope he's really okay.
I feel like calling him but I scare that it'll interrupt him.
Especially when the nights come.
I miss you more than anyone would do.
I hope I could fall asleep in ur arm now.
I hope I could feel the warmth of your body now.
I hope I could touch you now.
I hope I could just kiss you whenever I want to.
I hope I could look into ur eyes.
I hope I could do all the things stick together with you.
I hope, I wish.
I dunno what to do.
Could anyone direct me or give me some advice for what to do or where to go now ?
This is the second day after my exam's over.
I dunno what to do now.
Maybe I shouldn't thinking bout anything now and enjoy my movie until I fall asleep.
I just hope that I could sleep tight for one night is enough.
It feel really exhaust whenever u didn't take enough sleep for days.
People told me to take a nap or goes back to sleep after I woke up if I still feel tired.
But I just can't goes back to sleep or take a nap after I woke up.
What's the thing that keep disturbing my heart ?
Every time, whenever I saw my friend playing with their partner, sweetly, I just hope that I could really play with u like that too.
In that short moment, everything just came up on my mind but I just won't telling you that because I'm scared.
I'm scare that I would expert more again than in the end get myself hurt again.
It really hurts that you felt like your heart are ripped by some animal with their sharp teeth.
I dunno what happened to me.
Keep thinking much on negative side.
I dislike myself being so.
I just need some times maybe.
Time cure everything and reveal everything.
Everything will be fine honey. Just relax ur mind.
Don't stress it out anymore.
Relax your soul. Relax your heart.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Just another normal Saturday
Saturday, September 27, 2014, ϟ 0 shout(s)
Finally got back from work.
It's Saturday night but I'm just hanging around with my pet and my laptop.
No clubbing, no alcohol, no drunk night, no dj songs, just me in my home laying on my bed with my laptop and Laila beside.
Today would be the most tiring day compare with all my previous working days.
Today, my working place is lack of staff which made me really exhausted today.
Well, I dunno is it my fate or it's the way I treat people, everything just feel so wrong and seems so wrong today.
I dunno why. But I'm really exhaust !
But after meeting Laila and seeing her being so happy when she looked at me, all the tiredness will gone magically. I really love her.
Always smiling and happy whenever she sees me.
This feeling is really the best feeling ever in my life, real good.
After my exam began until now, I'd never sleep well. Even it's over ! *pffffffft*
I was awake easily almost every midnight and it's really hard to fall asleep again after I woke up.
Even I wasn't dreaming but I still woke up in midnight,
People said I'm having too much stress. I think so ?
But it's nice whenever my friend said that I looks slimmer.
Though I know it's an unhealthy way for diet. :X
Start from tomorrow, I wanna get my healthy life back.
I wanna goes back to my gym life, workout life.
I'm almost there so I can;t give up!
There's nothing really special happened today but I just feel happy that my bitches came to my workplace to get to see me after days.
Although they never notice or shown, but I know that actually they really care bout me.
Whenever my tweets are too negative for few days continuosly, they'll sure msg me and ask me what happened.
It feels real;y great that whenever u feel like u're all alone and someone show up and prove that u're not.
It really feels so great and grateful to have you girls around. :)
It's my greatest things ever to meet u all.
Thanks for coming in my life. With loves. :)
ϟ 0 shout(s)
Tell me how could you do that.
Tell me why would you do that.
I thought people said that the family are the closest peoples you would ever had in your lifetime.
They care, they love, they worried.
All because they love you.
But tell me why. Why are you saying things like that.
Just because of one small little things and you said those ?
Yeah I know people got anger but please, I even feel more like you're a stranger to me which live together with me in a house.
U talked with others, laughed with others, but what I heard from you is only blame, cursing, negative comments.
Tell me why are you doing this to me.
I even tried to talk to you, called you. But you don't even disdain to look at me, don't even bother to answer me.
I have feelings too, I'm human too.
What you said just now its really hurts and pain and made me really upset with it.
I never knew you would become like this.
Day by day, things never get better.
You don't even bother to call me.
The first word, first sentence you said after these days is blaming me and and said vicious words to me ?
Seriously what's going with your mind.
I'd just done my exams and I just wish to rest for today.
ITS ONLY TODAY.
Couldn't I ?
Or is it in your eyes I am not qualified to have a little rest after those hard days ?
You don't even bother to care bout me.
Even seen me in public you're just like, 'Do I know you'.
Am I not qualified enough to say out what I'm feeling ?
Am I not qualified enough because I'm still young and things that I experienced is not enough ?
People asking me to ignored what you say but do they know that it's really hard to do so when it's the one who you live together since you were still a infant ?
I seriously dunno what's on your mind.
You let everyone know that I may looks like a sweet girl with a smile on but actually I had the worst attitude and personality ever.
Have you ever think about my feelings ?
Every time whenever I telling you what's on my mind, your reaction is always like, you're still too young for everything, you dunno anything yet.
U treat me as in I'm a robot.
People telling me that you shouldn't treat me this way but no matter how hard I tried, how many positive minded I've try to change, it seems like it's never a way to solve this.
Once I accept that this is the fact but you always showed me that things could be worst than you think.
I know you wanted me to be independent but this is a wrong way which would lead me to a wrong path.
I love you but. It's really hard for me to love you any more.
I just wish everything could stop and goes back to when I'm still an infant.
Everything seems so perfect, so fairy, so good and nice.
I just wish.
Friday, September 26, 2014, ϟ 0 shout(s)
YESSSS!!!!!
Say HI to a short break ! The exam's over and I'm stress-free now.
Exam's over, I should be happy but why am I feeling a little upset ?
Thinking that I'm going to leave my home town soon, it's actually feel a little grudgy inside.
Though sometimes I really feels like leaving here eagerly, but it's still the place where I was born, it always feel better in home town than other countries.
What would it feels like to leave in another country ?
I've been there before but what would it really feels like if I'm going to stay their for a long period ?
What would it feels like to leave my pet and unable to see her everyday ?
Life is short, but, it would really be bored and long if u didn't enjoy it.
So I think I should enjoy the difference, the change, the excitement.
Accept that challenge and fight it!
Being so weak is so not you!
FIGHT! :D
new past